Not sure how to write this. Or how to explain my thoughts or feelings.
I have been silent on here for a long while, not because I wanted to but because I have just not been feeling great. Or even good.
For the past few months I’ve not been happy. Now I do not mean its Allen or my children, but just my general mood. Not happy chappy.
People are quick to assume you fine, that nothing is wrong with you, until you snap, and then you keep snapping. Until you want to run people down in the road, start zoning out and day dream…
Like that’s NOT normal.
Yesterday was the pressure cooker moment.
Got to the point where I rang the Samaritans. I have never ever got to that low point in my life ever, and to think I would have to pick the phone up and ring them- and for the first 5,6, 7 mins I was just hysterically crying.
Anyways after another Dr.s appointment, it turns out I still have PTSD. Joy. Although its not like I didn’t think I still had a touch of it…
So plan of action and whats next?
Well, more appointments, and still waiting on counselling as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) didn’t work and it was cancelled- by them I may add NOT me.
So that’s the update.
Just to add…. If I hear one more person tell me, I must be fine as my face looks soooo pretty made up etc etc I will go the FUCK out on you! So you have been warned. Its what keeps me happy. So leave it.
Byeeee C xx