Makeup of the day – dewy skin

 

Fancied a change today, due to the weather being pretty darn miserable.

 

 

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Here is what I used to create this look!

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Rimmel Lasting Finish Foundation in 100 Ivory

Makeup Revolution Eyeshadow Palette in Flawless 3 Resurrection in 5th shade along the bottom row

Urban Decay Perversion Eye Pen in Black

Urban Decay Perversion Mascara in Black

Urban Decay Brow Beater Brow Pencil in Dark

Sleek MakeUP Highlighting Palette in Solstice in Subsolar

NYX Matte Finish Setting Spray

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As Frank Sinatra sang so famously… “That’s Life”

I do wonder sometimes, at what point in time will I ever feel complete or at least happy. It doesn’t seem complicated, aren’t we all entitled to be happy? But I for one thought that being happy came at a cost. To who’s expense exactly?

People say, “life is what you make it”, what’s that supposed to mean? I never once invisioned my life to be like it is right now.

Ok, I didn’t do particularly well at school with my education, but I did go on to do college and I did night school for 2 years, but where did it get me?

Im laying in bed again procrastinating about my life now as a 29 (going on 30), mum of 3, and I think. Is THIS it? Is this what my life has become?

I do think I’m jealous of how other people live their lives, the amount of friends they have, their social status etc, I always think to myself, why dont I have that too…

There isn’t really an answer to that question, as I guess other people may be thinking the exact same thing as me.

I have a loving, trusting, caring partner who supports and understands me and three handsome sons, and I ‘probably’ couldn’t ask for more than that.

I guess ‘that’s life’ really, isn’t it?

C xx

 

 

 

 

In a room full of people. No one can hear you scream.

Demons.

Demons of depression is like being in a pool full of water and drowning even though you know how to swim. No one understands.

Everyone says “you look to nice today, with your hair and makeup on” blah blah blah, and all your want to do is scream at them and tell them that your blind at the fact that all I want to do is rip your head off and scream at you.

Ignorance ISN’T bliss.

This isn’t a phase…

Continue reading

This blog has no name…

Not sure how to write this. Or how to explain my thoughts or feelings.

I have been silent on here for a long while, not because I wanted to but because I have just not been feeling great. Or even good.

For the past few months I’ve not been happy. Now I do not mean its Allen or my children, but just my general mood. Not happy chappy.

People are quick to assume you fine, that nothing is wrong with you, until you snap, and then you keep snapping. Until you want to run people down in the road, start zoning out and day dream…

Like that’s NOT normal.

So anyway.

Yesterday was the pressure cooker moment.

I exploded.

Got to the point where I rang the Samaritans. I have never ever got to that low point in my life ever, and to think I would have to pick the phone up and ring them- and for the first 5,6, 7 mins I was just hysterically crying.

Anyways after another Dr.s appointment, it turns out I still have PTSD. Joy. Although its not like I didn’t think I still had a touch of it…

So plan of action and whats next?

Well, more appointments, and still waiting on counselling as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) didn’t work and it was cancelled- by them I may add NOT me.

So that’s the update.

Just to add…. If I hear one more person tell me, I must be fine as my face looks soooo pretty made up etc etc I will go the FUCK out on you! So you have been warned. Its what keeps me happy. So leave it.

 

Byeeee C xx